Even writing this now is so hard and it’s being eight years since I’ve come out, well was forced out to
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had a boyfriend at the time we had
We used to meet in town, go to the cinemas, make out in the back like normal teenagers. We went to the pub for meals like any friends would do, it’s just we weren’t friends we were more than that.
It was a cold night it was December sixteenth a day before my birthday, i’d met my boyfriend in town and we went for a meal and for a few drinks I was seventeen at the time so I was just on the coke.
That night was like any other night we had spent together, I gave him a kiss before getting on the bus to go back home, what I didn’t realise is that the bus driver was also my next door neighbour.
What I didn’t mention in the previous paragraph is that my next door neighbour is also my dads bestfriend.
That night, Still the Sixteenth of December.
I was at home, there was a knock on the door.
And it was at that moment I realised what was about to happen, don’t ask me how because even now I have no idea it’s just a gut feeling, you know like when something bad is about to happen, you know it’s going to happen before it happens.
” Craig are you gay, I saw you kissing someone at the bus stop.”
My initial reaction was to run and cry in a corner just wanting this to be a bad dream. You always think you’re coming out is yours, and how you do it is up to you.
The stares from my Dad and Neighbour were enough to make me crack as the tears slowly surfaced the apologetic whispers come with them.
Now here’s the bad part, my dad he isn’t accepting, if he sees a gay person on television he turns over or scoffs about q**** or other homophobic slurs.
So that night was full of questions and my dad being in denial thinking it was a phase and that I’d soon be back to ” normal ” my anxiety crept in knowing that my dad would now hate me because of something that wasn’t my fault.
It felt like my world had just come crashing down, it still does now sometimes because my dad will always ask ” when are you getting a girlfriend?” and it’s totally dismissing of my sexuality.
In life all you want is accepting parents, parents who actually care about you as a person and don’t define you on your sexuality, some people aren’t that lucky.
Thanks for reading. Craig XxX